What To Do On Your First Date With Her

1. Plan the date. If you are the one to plan the date than you already have points in your favor. 

Try to avoid the more traditional dinner and a movie. It’s a long time to commit to a total stranger. Opt for something more casual, short, fun and unique. I once had a great first date playing bocce in a park. 


2. Offer to pick her up and drive but be flexible, she may want to meet you somewhere.

3. Open the door for her.

4. Pay. Pay for the taco off a taco truck, the entry ticket to somewhere fun or the ice cream. You don’t have to spend a lot. Keep the place casual and affordable (but not fast food! No McDonalds!) 


5. Offer her your jacket if the night gets cool.

6. If you are doing anything active for your date like a hike or swimming, lend a hand if she seems to be struggling. Focus more on her and her enjoyment than on you showing off your skillz.

7. Be supportive of her. Don’t criticize, mock or belittle her points of view (even if you think they’re silly.)

8. Be respectful. You can flirt but do not be perverse.

9. Look her in the eyes and slip her name into sentences. This is a nice social technique that will make her feel more connected to you.

10. Turn on the charm. Be positive and lighthearted. Do not complain. Remember you’re making a first impression here.

11. Do not discuss ex-girlfriends, previous dating experiences, religion (unless it is a deal breaker) or politics.

12. Ask her questions! What do you do?” “If money wasn’t an issue, what would you be doing tomorrow? Why?” “Do you have any hobbies?” “What do you love to do?” “Where did you grow up?” “If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow where would it be? Why?” 

Listen, look at her, don’t interrupt, and make little “uh huh” noises. Feel free to tell your own story but make sure she is doing more of the talking than you are. This date isn’t about you rattling off your accomplishments. It’s about engaging with a new person and seeing if you connect.


13. Limit yourself to 4 compliments. Two for her beauty: “You look lovely tonight” or “That dress is stunning on you.” And two for her character: “You’re really funny” or “You seem like a really kind and generous person.”

You don’t have to copy mine, what do YOU like about her? If you give more than 4, you risk sounding desperate and you might make her feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. However, if you give less than 4, you may give the impression that you aren’t interested.


14. Don’t kiss on the first date. Some guys kiss on the first date because they “feel a vibe.” Men can immediately tell if they’re attracted to a woman and with loads more testosterone than women, guys are often ready and “in the mood.” 

Women, on the other hand, take more time to establish their attraction to a man.Think of it like this: a man is a gas stove; his fire is lit quickly. A woman, however, is like a crock pot. She warms up a lot slower. So it can take time and a patient consistent approach before she is hot for you too.

My personal feeling about kissing on the first date is that it is weird. I would much rather get to know the man first so that the chemistry has a chance to organically develop for me as well. So since you asked ME this question, I say avoid the kiss and give her a goodnight hug.

Make it a good hug: linger, breathe, be present, squeeze. The feeling of being safe and warm in your arms will linger with her far after you leave her door.


15. Express your interest in seeing her again before the night is up. A simple, “I’d love to talk more about this sometime” or “I’d like to see you again.” And if you mean it, always end the date with “I’ll call you.”

If you don’t mean it, don’t say it! Just say, “It was really nice meeting you” and go on your merry way.
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